


the words I didn't say

by November_Clouds



Series: sorrow, pain, and loss (whumptober 2020) [18]
Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Canonical Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Forced Mutism, Hurt No Comfort, Muzzles, Physical Abuse, THIS IS NOT SILVA FRIENDLY, Verbal Abuse, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2020, no. 24, the bad kind, this one is darker than the others, what do i pUt: spoopy edition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27180043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/November_Clouds/pseuds/November_Clouds
Summary: Noelle was never sure what would set them off.day 24: forced mutism
Relationships: Nebra Silva & Noelle Silva, Noelle Silva & Solid Silva
Series: sorrow, pain, and loss (whumptober 2020) [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924213
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	the words I didn't say

**Author's Note:**

> tws for abuse, verbal abuse, muzzles, and all around bad vibes. i'm begging you, do not read this if these things trigger you

Noelle was never sure what would set them off.

Once, when she was walking around the manor, humming to herself, Solid had marched up to her, arms crossed. “What’s got you so happy?” he’d asked, face smug. 

Shrinking into herself, she whispered a soft “nothing” and tried to get away, changing pace swiftly and heading in the other direction, but Solid stopped her, placing a rough hand on her shoulder.

“Stupid girl.” He squeezed her shoulder tightly and slapped her face with the other hand. “Get out of my sight.”

So she stayed out of his sight.

Weeks later, after hiding out in her room for the twelfth time in a row, he sought her out, this time with Nebra in tow. “Dear sister,” Nebra called, kicking open the door to her room. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were avoiding us.”

Noelle scrambled off her bed, trying to get as far away from her siblings as she possibly could. “O-of course not, Nebra. W-why would I do that?”

Solid smiled viciously at her, baring his teeth like a magical beast. “You tell me.”

They left her with bruised arms and pride, and she vowed to herself to do her best to make them happy. _Whatever it takes._

“Solid! Nebra!” she called, wringing her hands behind her back. “Do you want me to bring you something back from the kitchens?”

Her siblings looked up from their respective books, first at each other and then at her, eyes shining with a dangerous look that sent chills down Noelle’s spine.

“Apple pie,” Nebra responded, feigning boredom.

“Don’t forget my sandwich,” Solid added. Noelle nodded, turning to get the items, when they called her back.

“Did we say that was all?” Solid asked, nose upturned.

Noelle shrank into herself. _Not again._

“N-no, but…”

“I’d also like roast chicken,” he said, cutting her off. “And vanilla cake.”

“And rose pastries!” Nebra added, practically crooning. “Make sure they add extra powdered sugar.”

Noelle stood there for fifteen minutes as they listed off more and more food items. Half of the things they mentioned they didn’t even have, the other half not cooked and ready, but she stood there, listening, carefully memorizing their orders like a dutiful waitress.

An hour later, she returned, hands laden with dishes. “I have everything,” she said meekly, trying to hide behind the countless plates. Nebra glanced up at the clock on the wall and sniffed disdainfully. 

“It’s been an hour. Where have you been?”

Noelle hesitated, trying not to say the wrong thing. “I-I was getting all of this. For you.”

Solid scoffed at her. “Well, we aren’t hungry anymore. You can take it back, now.” He turned back to his work, ignoring her. 

She stopped, feeling anger rise up inside of her. “It took me an _hour_ to get all this, and I did it for you—”

“You’re not one of the servants, Noelle,” Nebra interrupted. “You’re a royal. Start acting like one.”

The same old shame rose up in her again, cold and familiar, and she bit her tongue. Slowly, she walked out of the room, still carrying all the plates and trays, trying not to cry. 

_Act like a royal._

It was at this that Noelle messed up.

Determined, she paid attention in all of her classes, memorizing lessons on Clover business. She listened carefully to her tutor’s lectures, taking immaculate notes and storing them with care. Late at night, she’d go over foreign policy and art history and magic theory and the court languages of Diamond and Heart until her vision became fuzzy with exhaustion and her head pounded in tandem with her heartbeat.

Outside of class, she made sure to mimic the actions of the royals around her. Laughed at all the jokes, sniffed at all the _horrible_ things commoners did, and didn’t complain once at her dress fitting when the seamstress pulled too tight at her waist. 

_Am I doing it right?_ she asked herself. _Is this okay?_

~~(It was miserable living like a ‘true’ royal, like living someone else’s life, but she endured it. _If it means I’ll be one of them, then surely it’ll be worth it._ )~~

It was a Wednesday night when everything crashed back onto the ground.

She was making polite conversation with a noble family visiting the manor, talking lightly and laughing at all their (boring) jokes about the weather at the time of year and the Praying Mantises’ and the Black Bulls’ failures. Solid and Nebra were hospitable as well, sharing stories and nodding enthusiastically, but out of the corner of her eye, she felt like she was being watched by them.

Late at night, when the other noble family left, the two of them turned on her.

“What was that?” Nebra demanded, tapping her feet impatiently. “Don’t you know that embarrassments of the family aren’t supposed to speak?”

Noelle took a step back, fear pooling up in her. _No, no, no._ “I—”

Solid spun abruptly on his heels, walking to the sitting room. “You need to learn your place, _sister._ ” His tone was full of malice, spitting the words out like they were burning him.

He nodded at Nebra, who grabbed Noelle by the arm and jerked her into the sitting room. She barely managed to conceal and squeak of pain as they walked along, following Solid.

Nebra pulled her to a stop in front of the table, holding her in place. “It’s about time,” she said. Solid’s back was to them, so she couldn’t see his face, but when he turned around and showed her what he was holding, her heart stopped.

_A muzzle._

Their father often went hunting, as royals did, and he had some stuffed magical beast heads hung up on the wall to show off his hunting talent. Among the items framed was a rigid, steel muzzle, designed to hold even the strongest beardog’s jaws in place.

And they were going to use it on her.

Noelle stumbled back. “N-no, please…”

Her siblings ignored her pleading. “You need to learn,” Solid repeated, and he grabbed her face, snapping the stiff muzzle in place and shoving the bar between her teeth. It prodded roughly against her tongue, but she tried to cry out in pain, she choked instead, saliva pooling in her mouth, dripping out of the corner of her lips.

She reached an unsteady hand out, grabbing at the front of Solid’s shirt. _Please,_ she tried to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. Solid pushed her off of him and walked away.

“Disgusting,” he sneered. “I can’t believe you’re my sister.”

Tears leaked out of her eyes, resting on her cheeks, and she made a strangled sound through the metal.

 _You need to learn,_ they kept telling her, but she had yet to figure out _what._

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry


End file.
